I am in New York, listening to some of the best social media minds in the blogosphere.
If I had to sum it all up in one word, all these fancy online tools only help us grow one thing, relationships.
It doesn’t really matter if you run a public relations agency, a pool business, an interactive marketing company, or you are a digital storyteller, below are simple principles to keep those relationships happy and growing.
Respect
Jason Falls delivered a great session on the often tense relationship between bloggers and brands. Falls reminded us that bloggers aren’t really that important in the larger media landscape (TV reaches millions). This is important to remember.
He made a great point which all bloggers should remember, before they accept offers for products, endorsements or other affiliates.
Your audience expects something out of you, respect them.
If you are looking to monetize your blog, please think about your community. As Gary Vaynerchuk said in his keynote speech on Tuesday evening, “The audience is never wrong.’
Boundaries
One of the few bloggers with a unique voice, Erika Napolitano, lead a session about bloggers being naughty.
Some basic understanding of libel laws is useful. Of course this only applies if you post in the US. You could still be sued in Kuwait for posting a bad restaurant experience.
As a direct result of this talk I will be writing a comment policy, which will be simply put some boundaries on how I want the community to behave in the comments. (Thank you Erika) The rules will be simple:
- you need to identify yourself (no anonymous comments)
- no selling
Does it sound fair?
What is your comment policy on your blog?
Invest time
Danny Brown and Gini Dietrich rocked their session, and showed everyone that a little polemic around their title wasn’t going to dampen their mojo.
Without going into the details of this great panel discussion, I will keep one idea. PR professionals before you pitch a blogger, start a relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to become their BFF, but at least know their name, read their blog and know what they talk about online.
It sounds self evident but it really brings back one important point, listen before you talk.
In a world where fast is always too slow, I have discovered that sitting down to have tea is often the best marketing strategy ever.
If you think you are wasting your time when you talk and make small talk with people, think again.
Your turn
How do you treat your relationships online?
What are some of the lessons you use to keep your relationships authentic and happy on your blog?
Hi I'm a coach who believes life is an adventure, and entrepreneurs need to cultivate an adventure mindset to succeed.
{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }
My comment policy is simply that people add value to the post. If you are just there to say thanks, you simply want a link! If you haven’t even bothered to read the post (always glaringly obvious) then why would I allow the comment? I’m not too bothered about keywords in the name, although I totally understand why other bloggers are.
Ultimately, it’s all about looking after people – the vast majority of people are only wanting links to their website, but the ones who count are those that want to contribute. I recently took off the ads on my blog – it seemed a bit pointless to bombard people with ads if they only bring in a few dollars a month. Much nicer to have a strong blog which advertises your own services and generates a community who will happily promote you too. Take care of them, they will take care of you.
I like the simplicity of your comment policy – although I wonder what you deem to be advertising?
Hi Dan
I don’t giving the ‘link’ that’s all good and part of the game. Interesting experience you have with ads. I believe that if you don’t have optimized your site in a niche which has tons of traffic your affiliate ads will just cheapen the site and as you say not pay the bills.
Advertising for me is someone putting a big fat link to their new book, services, products in their comment. I am very flexible and as long as people don’t use my comments as an advertising board I’m cool with them talking about what they do.
I was worried your comment policy was going to be “no hijacking,” “no banter,” and “no racking up Lifefyre points.” Glad this is Disqus.
Seriously, though, you found the need to say “no anonymous” comments? Were these more negative than those who put their name on a note?
Hi John,
I am so happy for you you’ve been in New York.
What an experience !
The more I travel the more I feel the core of the matter seems to be in America. Not because I’m idealizing some great minds (although thinking of Danny Brown, Gini Dietrich ^^) but merely because there is such a melting pot over there sustained by this huge envy of sharing.
This said even if we know we can do more online, the human feeling misses at some point.
As last November I’ve been in New York for the ad:Tech conference, it was like something magic: the meetings bring you motivation and empower your convictions.
I see on the picture that your eyes are lightening so I guess the upcoming months will be promising for all of you
Yael
Hi Yael,
yes there is something about the US, motivation, empowerment and this huge envy to share…something which seems to be lacking in good old Europe.
Hi John – Great meeting you and I too got a lot out of deepening relationships that started online. I think it’s a good idea to make meeting up with fellow bloggers a regular thing.
Hi Tia,
It was really awesome meeting you and adding a real person to an avatar.Yes to regular meeting with Bloggers, perhaps with a different organizer
Hello John!
Sounds like you had a great time in NY. I would have been there, but I was on an 8 day long vacation with the family visiting with Mickey Mouse and friends at Disney World. Plan on meeting me in the flesh at the next one!
The commenting policy sounds simple enough! Somethign I will definiteyl be instituiting myself in the near future. Surely can’t hurt a think and level-sets the rules!
I like to keep in touch with my folks online. There are several people who I speak to on the phone on a pretty normal basis. And others who I skype with. In fact, more than I do with some of my family and offline friends. I’ve reall developed some awesome relationships…and if you don’t mind, I include you into that list. It’s been great knowing you and I can’t wait to jump on Skype with you.
On my blog, I keep my relationships authentic by being me, and allowing others to be them. No one has to agree with me, and I don’t always agree with others. I tihnk that’s an important key. But, I don’t expect that everyone be respectful. That’s just how I’m laced – I will disagree if I disagree, but I will never do it in a disrespectful manner.
I hope you’re enjoying the weekend!
By the way, great pic with you Marcus and Aunt Gini!
JK,
I met up with Marcus when he arrived on Monday evening and we both said ‘JK should be here’. Family comes first buddy, you are absolutely right and I hope you had an awesome time at Disney world.
We still need to Skype, let’s make it happen.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend.
John,
It was awesome to finally meet in person. I don;t know how we never managed Indian food. Oh yeah, that’s right I was busy chasing single women
. Seriously though I think it’s going to be amazing to see what all our lives are like in the next couple of years. Here’s to creating a media empire.
Srini,
It was my pleasure to mee you in person. I have been following your journey online from Flightster to the blogworld speaking gig and all I can say is Wow! Some bloggers go on about taking life by the horns and ridding with it. You actually do it.
Here’s to your Media Empire…and your single women
You have to love socializing with people to do this. Yes, we’re all doing it for selfish reasons in the end, but we all want to have along the way, don’t we? and have great friends with whom we interact and work.
That’s why I love being in PR. I just love having bloggers, media, business professionals all around the world whom I can call friends.
It was EXCELLENT to chat with you in person, the first of many times, I’m sure.
(ha ha, I love the box that reminds that I forgot to check that box to prove I’m human. that’s all it takes? ok, here goes:)
oh, shoot, i meant, “have fun along the way.”
Hi Lisa,
It was EXCELLENT meeting you and as I often say I wish my daughter grows up to be as accomplished and professional as you.
This little box has brought my spam to 0.
Yes no robots filling in comments here
Hope you are having a great weekend in Maine and please eat some lobster for me
Great snap shot of the event, John. I loved the picture of you guys too.
It’s so important to come away from an event like this with energy and determination to take things to the next level. From what I’ve read on the blogs and twitter it seems that a lot of the people I follow did just this.
I hope to make it over the atlantic next year.
Hi Jon,
This event was awesome mainly because of the people I met. I think we often forget that great people is what makes an event, a venue, a party or any other group.
I do hope you make it over the pond next year, and I can meet another blogger IRL
It sounds like you had an amazing time hanging out with all the right people while you were over there. Made the most of your time I see
.
After reading Marcus’ post about the way BWENY ended, do you think you would go again? Was it worth it?
Obviously meeting all of the amazing people face to face is an awesome experience. But you can do that after the talks and hang out with them in the city (bars, restaurants, etc).
Do you think you’ll be there again next year?
Hi Eugene,
AMAZING only starts to describe how the time was in NYC. From meeting Marcus on Monday evening to having dinner with Gini, Lisa and Danny, these days went way too fast.
Would I go again to BWNY? Probably not, but I wouldn’t think twice about travelling to meet up with the gang.
When I used to plan conferences, I would always survey the attendees before they left. I was pretty successful collecting completed surveys because I always offered a nice gift for their trouble. One question I always asked was this: What’s the top reason you came to the conference this year? Although I received many different responses, the #1 was always this: Networking with peers and colleagues in the industry. (#2: Learn about new products and services.) Essentially, you’ve said the same thing. The value of a conference is in the ability to meet so many people in person, make new connections, and make existing relationships even stronger. Wish I had been there…Maybe next time!
That’s very professional Marianne, but as you point out also very useful. I was supposed to get a survey on the different sessions I attended, but I never received anything.
Yes the value is the people, something I think these conference organizers forgot.
I do my best to treat people online the same way that I would in person. Social media isn’t complicated- be nice and be real. I don’t have a written comment policy but I know what it is.
My blog is my cyberhome and I treat the conversation there like a backyard barbecue or cocktail party. Be good to my guests and I’ll be good to you. if you want to sell something than talk to me.
If I think that it will save the world I might give you free ad space. Otherwise I’ll probably provide you with a fair rate and it is your choice to accept it or not.
When bloggers are open, honest and consistent it makes life much easier.
Social media isn’t complicated, be nice and be real. Absolutely, simple rules that many fail to understand and apply. I guess this could be said also for offline behavior.
I really like your approach to your online home. You have a gift for making complex things sound very simple Jack.
Hi John,
Awesome picture. I would have loved to be there, but maybe next year.
I don’t have a comment policy, at least not one I’ve written down. But I have one in my head, and that’s the same as yours. To me, it’s kind of obvious that people should not sell and that they should stick to the topic and not be anonymous. But, it might not be this obvious to everybody, hence, it’s better to write it down.
When it comes to relationships, I’ve learned a lot from people like you, Marcus and Mark. We’re living in a world where we’re supposed to do everything at once, and it’s almost impossible to slow down. We’re expected to deliver fast, then faster. It doesn’t seem that we’re suppose to build relationships anymore (at least that’s what I feel like most people are thinking). That’s why it’s so amazing to find people who knows the importance of sitting down, drinking a cup of tea and talking one on one.
Yesterday, I went to a local pizzeria with two other guys and we talked about marketing for almost 3 hours. It was brilliant. And it was so much more fun than talking to the masses.
Jens
Lori I have tons of other photos, but I will need approval from Gini, Danny and Marcus before they get released and posted on FB.
Things will never be the same once they come out
Looking at your picture here, John, I can just imagine how much fun you had during the BWNY. Then, I read your post and I saw that you did not only have fun but learned a great many things in the process.
I am very lucky to have made friends with a number of great people online during my first blogging month. While the connections are not yet that solid and the rapport I established with others like Bill, Patricia and Danny may not be as great yet as with others, I know in time it will get to that phase when the people I connect here in the blogosphere will also be the same people I connect with a whole lot on Skype and through email. At least, I am planning for it to work out that way by slowly reaching out to everyone in time.
Hope for you to become one of those friends.
It looks like you’ve not only had fun, but have connected in a meaningful way as well. One thing I take very seriously is protecting my readers and my forum. I do not allow trolls to run amuck! I also share certain universal truths about myself when I’m discussing topics that people find particularly difficult. Since I’m trying to encourage women to dismantle useless ideologies so the can have better lives, much of the work is up to each person and it’s not easy. It is necessary, so I want others to know I’m not writing from a lofty perch.
Hi Faith,
I’m sorry it took so long to reply to your comment. Amen to your goal, as a new father to a daughter I think you can’t inspire too much.
What a great picture; I would have gone to BWENY just to meet all of you. How much did Gini charge you for the picture………..:)
It will be interesting to see the post about comment policy for your blog. I’m just happy people show up so I don’t know what my policy would be.
I will treat you online just like I would offline. I will also treat you like I would want to be treated. It seems to work ok for me.
If you were to see me at a Chamber function or a BWENY function you would see me interact with quite a few people whether I initially knew them or not. I am the same way online and you have certainly seen me around. I do take the time to engage because to me that’s what it’s all about.
I hope you had a great time; I hope the SalesLion bought your dinner the first night; and hope you have a safe trip home.
Bill, I had to take a mortgage on the house for this photo, Gini’s agent commission alone dried up my savings….
Seriously, these two past days have been magical. I do hope we get to meet IRL one day.
Hey John. Hope you’re having a good time on this side of the pond. (Sounds like you are.) If you manage to respond to such a high volume of comments from the road, you’re a better man than I, sir.
Regarding comments policies, I don’t really have any. I think the information on our “about” page pretty much lays it all on the line. This is what we’re about. Comments that detract from that get the boot. Haters gonna hate, so yeah.
To your final points on pitching, authenticity trumps influence any day.
Hi Brian
I am writing this from Frankfurt airport, so I have a special thought for you and Heidelberg
Authenticity trumps influence any day…sounds like something we should either tattoo or put up as a huge banner.
Good idea to incorporate the comment policy in the About page.
You’re so right, John. I am dying that I couldn’t make it to BWENY for one reason… the relationships. The content of the sessions? We can probably find elsewhere. But the chance to meet online friends like Gini, Danny, Erika, and Shelly Kramer in real life? That’s a golden opportunity. I’m a big fan of sitting down for tea… even without a marketing strategy. If you find kindred spirits that light you up, let that be enough. The ways you can help each other can come later.
Kat, these ladies you just mentioned are golden. As I always tell them, I hope my daughter grows up to become strong, and smart like them.
I really wish I was there with you all. Ugh.
Something had to keep Chicago alive now that Lisa and Gini were in NYC
I really wish I could have been there with you guys.
Next year!
I think listening is the most important thing you can do. Like most of the people who have commented on this post do so well, they really want to know what their community has to say. They ask for it, crave it.
I think that is the greatest gift you can give anyone, listen to and care for what they say. Both online and off.
Hi Daniel,
Sorry for the late reply. Yes next year but hopefully at a different event
John, it was super to get to meet both you and Marcus and I’m glad you both enjoyed the session content. Appreciate your recaps on sessions I didn’t get a chance to attend and hope you’ve enjoyed your stay in NYC this week!
Erika, it was a pleasure meeting you IRL. I have been a big fan of RHW, since I started blogging last year and really learned a lot at your session.
NYC? What is there not to enjoy!
John, let me just briefly say that your observations here are spot-on. Like you, I’m going to come up with a comment policy for my blog, that’s a must., especially after getting Erika’s take on the matter.
As far as relationships—yeah, you said it brother. I’ve seen that more than ever this week. I’ve known they were important, but this experience has just further made me aware of it.
It was such a tremendous pleasure meeting you John, as well as your ‘ll being doing this again.
Happy travels my friend,
Marcus
John
So glad you got to meet up with @Gini, @ Marcus @ Danny! How fun.
On monetizing my blog… I have just been offered my first sponsorship and may have a second. These would be in the form of ads so I hope wouldn’t cheapen my blog. Readers know ads from the post or I would hope. I had thought about ading adsense…Any thoughts, think it would cheapen the blog? Remeber I don’t currently sell services. I am not sold on this yet.
On the relationships, I hope I can say I treat the online ones like gold as that is what they are worth.
And on commenting policies. Don’t have an official one. I had a very lengthy comment that contradicted some of my medical knowledge. I posted it to generate dialogue and as I was grateful that the person took so much time to respond.
Enjoy the rest of your time in NYC!
Rajka
Hi John!
Really glad to see that you connected IRL with some great people. I knew that the day would come that I would see you in a picture side-by-side with Marcus and Gini.
I’ve benefited greatly from knowing you and watching the growth and success of your business/blog. I’ve been cheering for you from the sidelines. Way to go!
Monica, you have been one of my A-listers since day one.
Your support has been tremendous, from day one.
I do hope we get to meet IRL one day
I’d really like that John!
I don’t think it would be too much of a hardship for me to plan a vacation to France one day. Ameena could even help us with the accomodations.
Although I’m slightly jealous that your hairstyle is cooler than mine John, I wish you the very best for the remainder of your time in New York. It’s a fascinating experience out there, and I hope you come back home with many happy memories, new connections, and a fresh, reenergised outlook on life.
Or, failing that, a “I Love NY” t-shirt will do
The dude’s James Bond; he has to have a cool haircut………:)
Bill I’m not James Bond, my name is John
Stuart, haircut? You kidding right mate, its #3 clippers all around.
You should have told me earlier about the t-shirt, I’m in Germany right now. Would a souvenir from France do?
Yeah, an “I love Paris” t-shirt would be great John!
And #3? I go #2 all the way! Dare you to go #1
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