So you achieved success, now what?

If you think failure is tough, try success.

I want to share a short story with you today.

In 2008, Ameena and I had just landed three of our largest clients, Emirates airline, a very large construction firm with 200,000 employees, and a Dubai government agency.

We were running several training courses a week, and in order to cope with the demand we had to fly-in instructors from all over the US. At the time we were training some 2 to 300 employees a month.

To say we were busy would be an understatement.

Yet at the same time we started to think, what’s next?

I was focusing on business development, Ameena was running all the logistics and marketing but we still didn’t work more than a few days a week.

We won accolades from certifying bodies in the US, took a 2-months trip to the South of France to start rebuilding an old 18th-century farmhouse and then turn to fund-raising for a cause which is important to me.

The rest of the time we would scratch our heads to find what’s next?

What happens after success

When you are struggling things are easier, you set a clear goal and go for it.

Most personal development blogs and books focus on helping you get there. I believe it’s only half the battle.

Once you have achieved success, what do you then?

What comes after success?

Everyone defines success differently. In this case I will look at it as achieving business goals.

When you spent months fantasizing about reaching this point, attaining this zenith is often a disappointing nadir.

I remember reading Benjamin Franklin, a very wise man who once wrote “Success has ruined many a man.”

At the time I thought, sure, this sounds a lot like the self-indulging successful entrepreneurs who feel empty with their lives.

Let me join your ranks and I will show you how happy I am.

Once you reach that point, and the euphory of the win settles, things suddenly seem very different.

When you strive for success you idealize what you want to be, even imagining that the people who reside in those coveted positions are happy and fulfilled.

But once you get there, you recognize that the same vulnerabilities you thought wouldn’t belong to your successful self still exist.

It”s hard to explain what happens psychologically, because a lot of the constraints that you”ve had are now gone.

Instead of scrambling to find one opportunity somewhere to do something, you suddenly have an endless supply of opportunities to do anything.

The danger is that you can get very unfocused and start doing all these things you feel you left-out when you were working hard to achieve that goal.

These are a few things you can do once you have arrived.

Trapped in success

We are so much better at dealing with failure. We know how to reframe our failures, we can get “spiritual” about our big crashes.

When we succeed, there is a part in us that feels guilty.

The old expression “be sure it doesn’t get to your head” will come back often and crush these feelings of pride success can bring.

It almost seems like we are not well equipped to tolerate success and dare I say happiness.

Guilt is a powerful emotion and explains why many successful people seem to be  destroying what they have worked so hard to achieve.

Steven Berglas, Ph.D., wrote of the “Supernova Burnout” in his book Reclaiming The Fire.

The burnout,

is a psychological disorder that results when very successful people feel anxiety, despondency, and depression over the fact that they are trapped in a career from which they can’t escape but which no longer provides them psychological gratification.

There doesn’t seem to be a specific age, it affected twenty-something springboard Olympic diver Mark Lenzi after his gold at the Barcelona Olympics, as well as dozen of dot.com millionaires.

The cause are often found in what is called “survivor guilt”.

In order to be successful we had to leave our tribe, family, friends behind. Venture into the woods and build a new path.

In moving beyond what was deemed possible, or in attaining one’s ideals, a loyalty to parents, siblings, or peers can interfere with embracing accomplishment and even result in depression or anxiety.

The myth behind success

We believe that success is going to transform us, into some kind of super person.

Berglas explains it’s a myth:

You finally reach a life goal—winning a Pulitzer, for example—and you think suddenly everything will change for the better. In reality, only one thing changes: You’ve won an award.

The biggest issue here is what we attached emotionally to reaching that goal.

This is why it’s so important to really have a deep meaning for your clear goals.

How many times do I hear from clients,

“Once I achieved this goal I will be happy”

In the process they delay happiness and perceive it as an end result of achieving their goal.

However life isn’t a fairy tale where everyone lived happily ever after once the dragon is slayed and the princess rescued.

Happiness should be built-in the journey rather than attached to a specific goal.

Otherwise once we reach this goal and realize that we aren’t somehow magically transformed into happy people, the supernova burnout can be tough.

A simple recipe to enjoy your success

Learn to say No

When you are struggling to succeed, yes is the answer you are looking for.

Once you have achieved this success it’s critical to learn to say No, to others and to yourself.

Success opens opportunities which you didn’t have earlier,  you can’t accept them all.

You know have to deal with the expectations of others and their potential disappointment.

Saying yes to everyone is the best way to disappoint most because you can’t physically help everyone.

Just like an ER doctor triage is critical.

Keep in mind that with success demand for even better performance will grow, from your boss or your clients.

You then feel anxious and responsible for keeping people thinking highly of you and living up to their expectations.

Much like an audience screaming for an Encore, you are slowly being pushed an into an ever specialized corner of your life.

The success of one song, one application, one service, one website, means you are becoming more and more specialized and have less room and flexibility to create. The tribe is killing you, slowly.

Saying No, to the right person, at the right time becomes a survival skill.

Get over yourself

When  I look at lasting successful business owners, they all have one thing in common. They share their success.

A bit like a plate that’s too hot, success can burn if you hold on to it and refuse to share it.

Every entrepreneur who succeeds, continuously, year after year has developed a great way to cope with the arrogance and invicibility that success can bring.

They keep success at arm’s length by creating a legacy for your success.

When my rescue training firm was at it’s zenith I started fund-raising to buy rescue equipment and setup mountain rescue teams pro-bono.

To know one life has breathed easier because of my success became the new approach.

Get back to business

Now that you celebrated and shared your success, get back to work.

Success is tough because you know have a lot more to lose then when you had little.

When you are at the bottom you can only go up,  but once at the top, it takes a lot more effort to maintain that level of performance.

There is no equilibrium in life, we are either getting healthier or fatter.

In business we are either moving towards success or failure

Look around you.

How to tackle success in your business

Your mindset

You are the reason why you achieved this success. Your mindset has allowed you to reach this point.

Every climber will tell you that the most dangerous part is always the way back down the mountain.

You are tired but euphoric, slightly unfocused, and this is when accidents happen.

In business terms this means you have maxed out and probably just acquired a new huge client or been acquired by a large entity.

So, if you are already working 12+hours a day, how are you planning to handle the huge surge in workload?

I often get contacted by business owners who are in this position.

They have red-lined themselves all the way to success and now they realize that with their new responsibilities they aren’t quite sure how they will cope.

Do you have the right mindset to take a time-out, regroup and position yourself for the next big thing?

If not think seriously about joining a program or find someone who can lead you to the next stage.

How is your team?

Your team allowed you to reach the success you enjoy. They are crucial to your future success.

Who can you promote?

Do you have a chart that points out who will be your next leaders?

Are you grooming people to fill those leadership roles?

Can you identify negative team-members? Get rid of them before they spread their ill-will in your organization.

How is your business culture?

When we achieved great success we often push a few of our values aside.

It’s normal we prioritize certain values over others.

Now look at the priority order of your core values.

Remember when you first said you wanted to have fun in what you did? Are you still having fun?

Take some time to define your core values and make sure your communicate them to everyone in your team.

Now is the time to stick to them and not let that temporary high steer you astray.

What is your Plan?

Write down the lessons you picked up along the way to your success.

How can you incorporate these new insights into your future plans.

You probably have some new resources now, acknowledge them and make sure you use them in the best way possible.

Learning to delegate is now a vital skill you have to acquire.

You must understand that you can’t reach more success with the same strategy which brought your there.

 

We all achieve success.

In our lives, the main problem is that we put our expectations of achievement way too high most of the time.

Success doesn’t mean landing the space shuttle or getting the Nobel Peace prize.

Although these are nice they are unachievable for most of us.

To do today to embrace success

• Write down what success means to you. In your life? In your business?
• Which emotion do you attach to these success? Happiness? Being stress free? Pride?
• How will you celebrate once you are successful? It doesn’t have to a round the world trip, anything from eating your favorite meal to taking time-out.