These days we are surrounded by the familiar.
We have a GPS in our car to take us straight to our destination.
Our smart-phones have maps.
We surround ourselves with familiar faces and voices we enjoy listening to.
If we are stuck somewhere we can call someone.
Help is always available from a friend to 911, for the first time in the history of human kind we live in a comfortable, supportive environment.
So does this mean we are all driven, focused individuals heading towards our goals?
Walking around in circles
Getting lost is actually more common than we think.
More often than not, we are lost, we just don’t know it.
I remember taking groups of clients in the woods for a simple exercise, find the best path to reach a destination.
With no maps, no gps and no compass the group quickly starts to walk in circles.
It’s natural. Walking in a straight line is extremely difficult thing to do without any cues.
You can trie it at home. Clear a room, have someone watch you and walk blindfolded. After a few minutes your start to make small circles.
This is what happened to JFK Jr, as he spiraled towards the earth whilst thinking he was straight and level.
Are you going around in circles with your business right-now?
How to get unstuck and build your own business map
As a coach one of my recuring client question is,
I’m stuck, not sure where to go from here can you help?
The beauty of coaching is that I don’t have the answers, you do. I just help you find that map you have inside of you.
Stop looking for a business map or a list of shortcuts, they don’t work. You need to build you own.
To build your own map, you need to recognize a few things.
1. You are lost. Look around you? Can you see the forest from the tree? Acknowledge and accept you are lost.
2.Stop. Stop what you are doing right now. This is how you got lost in the first place, if you want different results you need to do things differently.
3.Seek feedback. Without unbiased and honest feedback about your efforts, you can’t see the forest from the tree. Pilots use instruments to give them that information when they are flying blind, in the woods a gps will give you the direction to follow, as a business owner you have different people who will give you feedback.
a. Your clients: Always ask for feedback from your clients. How do you know how well or bad you are doing? They should be your first line of business
b. Your peers: You work in a field where many others are doing what you do. Do your peers want to work or cooperate with you? Do you help them and ask for their advice?
c. Your coach: When I wanted to get unstuck with my marketing I looked for a coach. An experienced professional can lead you to breakthrough moments just by asking powerful questions about your efforts. A coach will lead you too look at the forest beyond the tree and help you build YOUR map.
Hi I'm a coach who believes life is an adventure, and entrepreneurs need to cultivate an adventure mindset to succeed.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I LOVE the image you used. Nice, Ameena!
I think there are a couple more you can add, but especially your team. Even if you are a solopreneur, you still outsource some things. Ask those people the questions you outline above. We even do this with our vendors, too. It’s nice to get a 360 degree look from everyone you work with.
John,
I just got back from a weekend in the middle the woods, where I stayed in a cabin. There was no cell service, no amenities, not even indoor bathrooms! Just the silence and a lot of time to be still and meditate! Talk about a revelation!
It’s so easy to feel like you are going somewhere because you see things around you moving! It isn’t until you’ve pulled yourself away when you realize you weren’t the one who was moving!
Good stuff!
Beth, now I’m jealous a cabin in the woods!
It’s so easy to feel like you are going somewhere because you see things around you moving
Being a busy fool is never the way forward.
That’s so true
It is a pleasure to have a coach someone like you, John. After reading your article, it makes me feel that now I could handle the boundaries that are insighted in the business I am up to right now and release the blind fold which holds my eyes for a very long time. I will gather more infos from you in your future posts. Thanks.
I’ve been thinking about clients and audience a lot in the past few days. I know my existing client base isn’t the right one for where I want to go next. Is it awful to say that? I’ve tried asking for feedback or have gently nudged my clients in the right direction, but many of my clients give me the “You’re doing great work.” That doesn’t help me or them. At the moment, I tend to get most of my feedback from my peers – people like you and Ameena. I think I might need to get some sort of coach or mentor, too, if only to find some additional clarity in direction.
Why do you think your existing client base isn’t the right one?
Mostly because those clients were ones I gained when I first started my business and didn’t know what I was doing. They still consider me to be a freelancer even though I’ve talked with them about the changes I’ve been making to my business. They like those changes as long as they don’t affect them, i.e., they lose their writer or social media manager – two things I’m trying to get away from, especially the social media management area. The writing is a little different, but the issue with that is that I’m being pulled in all different directions – from real estate to information technology to insurance. I can write about those things, but I feel as though doing so could detract from the other writing I do.
Hi John,
Spot on article. In my job as career coach I hear it all the day. I don’t know, I am lost or something similar. Asking what their friends and family think is very powerful. Very often it are peoples believes and attitudes that hold them back or make them feel lost.
When I started out I was lost too with regards to the marketing aspect of my business. Sometimes you need to ask the experts no shame in not knowing, just don’t seek excuses or keep doing what doesn’t work, seek solutions is my motto.
Hi Nik,
Cheers for this, you are spot-on about the lost feeling.
Beliefs are what hold us back, no argument there.
It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and not realize you’re lost! Sometimes, at least for me, it takes unplugging completely and getting back in touch with my Self before I can see where I am.
How was the retreat Sandi? I am so jealous it looked wonderful
Four days of the best kind of self-care imaginable: silence, rest, nature, writing in front of the fire, yummy food, napping…
Not trying to make you more jealous, it was just that amazing
Funny you should mention the walking in circles thing, John. I actually heard about study done somewhere in Europe within the last year where they blindfolded a bunch of people on a football field and asked them to walk in a straight line. ALL OF THEM ended up veering off course one way or the other. What was strange was, there appeared to be no rhyme or reason to this. Interesting.
Sense of direction – literal or figurative – only comes from knowing where one is in relation to where one wishes to be. When the perception of reality or vision of the future is vague, we’re merely trudging along toward disappointment, methinks.
As much as I *adored* “Dierdre,” the English woman who voiced our driving instructions while on holiday in Germany last year, having “someone else” do the thinking for us seems a good way to allow that part of our brains which would ordinarily process such information stagnate.
Every responsibility handed over to others or a computer is another responsibility we lose control over. If not due to eventual legislation, by entropy.
Luckily I can admit when I am lost. I am surprised when most don’t. I recognize that I don’t know everything and when I am lost, I let the whole world know about it. Most of it honestly is frustration in trying to figure out something or get to another position.
Either way you have to recognize that you’re lost and make the conscious decision to seek out help. I could use a coach to help me stay focused on what matters with my career and what doesn’t.
There are so many factors that can blind-side you from time to time, and learning how to hone in on what will keep me from repeating (insanity) the same thing (expecting a different result) over and over would help allot. Great post John and I didn’t know Ameena was your spouse…what a dummy I am. I just got that today (duh!). I love Ameena..she rocks!
That’s a real strength Sonia. Ego and testosterone poisoning often help guys to never admit they are lost.
You are right recognizing you’re lost and making a decision to seek out help is where it starts.
Yes Ameena is my partner in crime and NO you are not a dummy
John,
I have to tell you I’ve reached that point myself of being stuck earlier this year and it finally occurred to me to get myself a coach. I’d be reluctant to do it for so long because I get so much free advice from the people I interview, but I realized that it would never be the same as personalized advice tailored to my needs. Ratherr than just rack up unemployment funds I realized that I could invest that money into coaching.
Srini,
I know I’m preaching for my team but coaching is a lot more than advice (free or not).
A professional coach will help you:
- Unblock limiting beliefs which are holding you back, a common one is “I want to be successful but I don’t want to be jerk.” So many people refuse to take pride in their work because they feel are ‘over doing it’.
- Help you define a business model which helps you support your lifestyle. This is a big one, people want the business model but don’t realize that it’s tied to a lifestyle.
- Hold you accountable to your decisions.
- Give you an outsider’s honest perspective on where you are going offtrack.
All this coaching work should be done by you. What I mean is the coach is going to ask powerful questions which will force you to have aHA! moments and breakthroughs.
Never go for a coach who sells you a ‘one size fits all approach’ or an advice which doesn’t make you 100% comfortable. The answers need to come from you.
Of course there are many other positive aspects to coaching but that’s where I can see them helping you at this point in your life.
Good Day, John! I caught your headline on LinkedIn and had to head right over. Certainly, there are days when I feel like I’m spinning, but for the most part, I feel as if I’m climbing more than spinning.
I love your map building exercise and do use a few of those steps on a routine basis…I seek out mentors and input, swallow pride and ego to do it, and then process and use what I can to make my map stronger. I think taking a moment to stop and look around is critical – I don’t often take the time for that one! Great reminder.
Take care, John.
Hi Erica,
I think we are all running around in circles at one time or another.
Then suddenly we speak to the right person and have a breakthrough moment and everything makes sense
It’s funny how we dont’ realize we are lost, when we are.
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