We are told to get to the point, cut down on meetings, avoid ‘time-wasters’, and above all remember the 80/20 rule. Define who your important people are and cut out the other 80%.
But what does this mean in real life, abroad? From finding a battery which works for your quad in Costa Rica, to getting your products delivered in China, what can we learn from real life entrepreneurs who don’t write books about living the 4 hour hour work week.
Connecting with people
My friend Jacob Yount, runs his business in China. He employs Chinese people and deals with Chinese suppliers. Meetings are critical for him to be able to run his business, and what we often consider as a waste of time is actually an investment in the future.
Patience and having a certain amount of time I can lose to eventually get it right. You can’t be in hurry here. You got to take time to be willing to work with folks and it may feel like you’re going back to “elementary levels” but it’s the only way to long-term growth
Taking the time to sit down and actually find out what that person is all about is not a waste of time. Marcus Sheridan, wrote about how important it is to develop an emotional connection with your readers. But this holds true offline.
If you think you are wasting your time with people think again.
On the ground
Some cynics out there messaged me to say that sharing powerful personal stories is great for bloggers but useless on the ground in a foreign country.
Well actually the same principles are at work, in your offline world, on the ground, abroad. This is how I learned about ‘wasting-time’ abroad.
When I started my first outdoor coaching business I needed to get access to tribal areas in the hills bordering the UAE and the Sultanate of Oman. My first goal was to locate the tribal elders for the specific mountains I wanted to run my activities in and gain their approval. This meant sitting down with different people and drinking hundreds of gallons of sweat ‘chai.’
These people aren’t listed in the yellow pages under tribal chief.
Most of the people I met and talked to were not tribal chiefs, I often left my hour long tea-drinking sessions with the feeling I was wasting my time.
Then one day as I was sitting down with a group of elders from the hills, thinking I must find a better way to achieve my goal, two men arrived and sat down. After half an hour one man asked me what I wanted to do up there in those hills. I explained that all I wanted was a permission to pass through this land and be allowed to climb on some of the caves and cliffs.
Then something happened, the man who asked me the question, said “My friends have been telling me how you respect our culture and you are welcome.”
Just like this, after hours of ‘wasting my time’ with what I believed to be a group of 80% ‘time-wasters’, I finally met the man who would help me. I went out looking for him but he found me.
Thinking long term
We often forget that time is not a commodity like any other. We can’t squeeze time and decide that the trust and the way people feel towards us is going to happen faster because we skipped this meeting and sent a few emails instead.
We can cut down on face time and focus on what we think deserves our attention but are we really making the right decisions about using our time?
Your time
I would love to know how you choose your 80/20 people and how your decide on spending time with some and not others?
Hi I'm a coach who believes life is an adventure, and entrepreneurs need to cultivate an adventure mindset to succeed.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting, John. It seems to get the ear of the tribal elders required actually becoming a member of their network…which accords with other good advice I’ve heard on networking. Going straight to the decision-maker may seem efficient, but if that’s not how they prefer to meet you. it’ll just get you an efficient ‘no’.
wow, that is an amazing story. You have incredible stories, John. I hope you are compiling them for your book.
Yes I am, book is on the way
You really hit an important point here John.
There’s all this hype around today in marketing, sales and business in general that tells people to reach out, connect with people, build relationships etc. but in the end there’s very few people who are willing to sit down with others and take the time to make it happen.
Building trust and relationships is something that by definition takes time. Or would you leave your kid with someone you just met on the corner of the street? I don’t think so. Connecting with others is not about efficiency, it’s about truly caring about what the other has to share.
See you around,
Wim
Wim, it’s so easy right? Yet so few get it and still go around being ‘that guy’ in the conference room or pitching their elevator pitch before even knowing who they are talking to.
Listening is a lot more important than pitching, and this doesn’t mean waiting for the person to finish in order to start pitching.
Thanks for stopping by Wim, great to meet you
Hi John,
I thoroughly enjoyed this post…rings true and authentic (my favorite word, I know) and is something that is critical to forming relationships and gaining trust. You and Marcus are correct, this applies both online and offline.
I actually lived abroad for a brief time (Mexico for 5 months) and loved it; however, it was only when I accepted and embraced the culture (siestas, late dinners, an abhorrence of time management in general
that I truly loved it and I was loved in return. When I stopped placing my culture on to them and found a way to embrace theirs, everything fell into place. Language, maneuvering through society, making friends, and ultimately gaining trust and respect. It is truly an invaluable experience that I carry with me throughout my life.
Life Lessons for me: Don’t go pushing your agenda and your culture on someone else; seek to understand and respect their culture; don’t dismiss that which you do not know or understand; and finally, have patience!
And I’ll be happy to help out with any video shoots or coaching there!
Hi Erica,
Its’ funny how great minds work, I finished writing this post and headed over to your blog to read your post on the Secret Sauce.
The approach is similar, you can’t change people but you can bring out the best in them. Erica your experience in Mexico, sums up a lot of key skills for any expat. I think the most important is to understand that there isn’t one way of doing things and that different approaches to life exist.
Thanks for the video shoot offer, at this rate we are going to have a Hollywood production style crew. We just need to cast the talent for the episodes.
Hi Marlee
Thanks for coming over. Yes I think we often see others as ‘time wasters’ if they are not who we really to talk to. But we forget about the big picture, people aren’t just stepping stones or ‘inconvenient time wasters’.
I am a big believer that everyone and everything happens for some reason. We don’t just bump into people, there is an order in this life, we just fail to see it most of the time.
Now about those tribal guys, umm good idea, they should blog. Sounds like a topic for an entirely different post.
.
Have a great weekend Marlee
Hi John,
This is a great story! And you really get the gears turning here. I agree with Jason’s sentiments (from Skyward) whole-heartedly…and you made lol with “These people aren’t listed in the yellow pages under tribal chief.”
Really?! No yellow pages listing, these guys need to get their act together!
Maybe they should get a blog!
John, that was a great read! I love discussing the 80/20 principle, it promises so much if you take the time to use it well.
Your 80% of ‘wasted time’ was only a disguise. Nothing is wasted in this life, it’s either results, or preparation for results. Failure is preparation for results, as are setbacks. Persistence is the key to finding that result that seems so far away now, but one step at a time will get you one step closer each time.
Thanks for the story John
Hi Stuart, no nothing is wasted in life. I love this sentence, ‘failure is preparation for results’–
Thanks for taking the time to come over and share your wisdom Stuart.
This is a great story, John.
I try to waste some time, every day. In your case, John, I am slowly working my way toward learning little tidbits from you. Mostly, regarding how to convince my neighbors that a Howitzer is an asset to the neighborhood. I think that with your help, I will eventually make a good case for it. Then I will have my massive gun parked in the driveway, and all of my time will not have been wasted at all.
Thanks for the renewed inspiration!
Mark, once they understand that the eardrum-breaking, window shattering sound is actually good for them, you have them on your side.
You would like these mountain tribes, they only come back into town when they run out of ammo.
Hey Mr. Falchetto – I like Jk’s input here… your show could be similar to one of those wild animal tamers, but taming the entrepreneur in all of us shows
Seriously, a TV show about living and working abroad. You certainly wouldn’t be short of any talented awesome entrepreneurs working abroad
All people have value. Good things happen to genuine people who care and respect others. It’s a nature thing. It’s really how the world goes around.
Too many people look down on other cultures, other peoples and the truth is, they have a much stronger connection to the universe and reality. There ‘being’ is not tied to stuff, time and business – but rather surviving daily with what’s been given and being thankful for them. There’s far too many whiners and complainers about this crap and that other crap boo hoo.
Advancement is good. Looking down on anything is not. It’s pretty ignorant in fact. There’s much to be learned from simplicity.
Cheers John – can I work the camera on the new show? Heck, I would just carry your bags if I could tag along and learn from you : )
I’ll carry Mark’s bags as he carries your bags
Appreciate the shout in this one, John and thanks for pulling the best out of me and indirectly some of the JL team. When living, working and adapting to other cultures, a good idea to not place a large of importance on our own timing perspectives…easy to say…now…back to work so I can try to practice what we’re preachin’ – rockin’ post!
Jacob, our conversation on the failure culture, or lack of it, in traditional communities like China gave me this post idea. We need to chat more often bud.
Hey the way I always look at it as an expat, there is one of me and millions (in your case billion) of them so who is going to adapt?
Hey Mark, well if by animal tamer you mean feeding my cat and dog, then yes I am your man. I like the idea of the TV show, video is the future of content and we learn more by watching and listening than reading.
Mark you’re hired as producer and I will carry YOUR bags.
I really, really enjoyed this article John. The experience you had with the tribal chief was quite the life-lesson, and to be honest, I don’t know if I could have pulled that one off.
My problem, in general, is that I like to ‘feel’ that I’m always making progress. Whether it’s with my blog, or my business, or my physical health– whatever…I just want to be able to say to myself, “Today I accomplished X”…
I realize this is possibly my best and worst trait, but hey, at least I see it, ya know
Thanks again for sharing this awesome experience John.
Marcus
Yo Marcus, that’s the trick isn’t how do we judge that we made progress? What is the benchmark?
I think we have a big tendency to want to accomplish a lot in a day and very little in a week or a month.
We put so much pressure to get stuff done with big lists everyday but where is our one year list?
Saying that you kick butt everyday at the sales lion and for that I can say you accomplish everything and then some.
Marcus thanks for stopping by and if kicking but online is your worst trait, I wish it was mine
Hi John,
This story was a amazing. I could just envision your experience as I read it. I had a distant view, but I could imagine it up close.
One thing that I took from this is the importance of patience. It’s being patient, even when you didn’t want to, or you felt as if you were waisting your time. And it paid off. You got the “you’re welcome” plea that you were seeking.
What an interesting life you live John. You need a reality show! Seriously. It could play on the Travel channel. One of the channels I watch most often.
Thank you for the valuable lesson. Your wisdom is appreciated.
Hey Jk, thanks for the support, I think I should write a book someday with all these stories.
Here is the background story in the press http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/general/rebuilding-aquaba-1.272330
Not sure about the reality show, it is a lot of hard work and sweat and there is not tribal council where people get voted out at the end of each episode. Nothing very dramatic but saying that there was coup against the local ruler and the mountain tribes marched down to the city to try to get rid of the ruler. But that is an entirely different post.
Thanks JK, your hustler post is a source of inspiration for me. Have a great weekend.
This is really hard John. I spent 5 years doing business development in the western US for a specialty engineering company. Starting from scratch. Cycle time from meeting the right person to possibly being able to bid a project to then making a sale was 6 months to 3 years. Many a time I was meeting the wrong person. Sometimes I was upset because they wasted my time. But sometimes they were the key to getting to the right person and not blocking my efforts later.
When working on the types of projects I was involved with Military, Aerospace, Medical, and Automotive sometimes these people wound up being sources of information even if they made no decisions. I would know when bids were coming, what my chances were, how my competitors were doing. And just like your experience. Because you spent time with these types of people. That is how the Elder’s knew you were a person respectful of their culture and worth opening up to you. All those wasted hours. Turned out not so wasted after all!
Hi Howie, your experience sounds a lot like many others I had working with large governmental agencies. They would love to have meetings and more meetings and the business would come out months even years later.
Yep, you are right meeting and befriending the ones who control access to the decision makers is critical.
Thanks for sharing your experience here, I am glad the story reminded you of similar experiences. Hours are never wasted when you build relationships
John,
Man, I freaking love this post!…because it dispels the myth of “value-less” people.
And it begs the question: Do I see others as simply a means to get what I want, or as “real” people who have just as much value as myself?
And the story of the tribal leader is off the hook man!….amazing experience and the perfect way to drive your point home.
We can all apply this to our lives, whether in the mountains of Oman (where the heck is that?) or in a mundane cubical in the states.
Thanks John, amazing dude!
Hi Jason,
I was just thinking where did I see this smiley face? Yep the http://www.riverpoolsandspas.com, and I had no idea you had a blog. Thanks for commenting today and introducing me to your awesome blog.
Yep those times in the hills taught me some pretty intense lessons, of course it takes time to sink in.
Where is that place check this link http://www.panoramio.com/photo/14900055
Yes ignoring the ‘lesser’ people is something we need to learn, everyone has value.
Thanks Jason, I am off to check your blog now
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